Especiais TV

Things I Hate in TV Shows… For Real, You Will Like This!

I mean… I watch so many television shows right now to keep my mind safe from dangerous thoughts during this terrible and catastrophic quarantine that I found myself complaining a lot about television shows. So pardon my language throughout this article, but I am really pissed and therefore shall not write according to usual norms. Prepare yourselves for an unusual savage article.

I mean… I really hate some cruel stuff about television series. Like, for example, why is everyone in The Big Bang Theory torturing innocent food? They are constantly picking it with a fucking fork AND THEY NEVER EAT IT! And, to make things worse… the food always looks FUCKING DELICIOUS! And when the show was airing I felt so angry because I live with my parents and I wanted to have some pizza so much at 2 am. The Big Bang Theory is dangerous for the hungry ones…

“The Collaboration Contamination” – Pictured: Howard Wolowitz (Simon Helberg), Bernadette (Melissa Rauch), Amy Farrah Fowler (Mayim Bialik) and Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons). Sheldon and Koothrappali confide in Bernadette when they can’t handle Amy and Wolowitz working together. Also, Penny and Leonard learn new tactics for how to deal Sheldon from an unlikely source, on THE BIG BANG THEORY, Monday, Oct. 23 (8:00-8:31 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. Photo: Michael Yarish/Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. © 2017 WBEI. All rights reserved.

Another thing I truly hate is when characters are stuck in a loop of melodramatic problems, acting all “manchildish”, you know? Like Kevin from This is Us… I mean, that guy can literally go fuck himself! He’s an adult baby and I am so done hearing about his crap. Put him in rehab, send him to a mental hospital… but please, remove him from the show quickly! I can’t stand him anymore. Just look at The Walking Dead… I couldn’t stand Rick anymore. I mean that guy sweats like a horse on a race every single episode and was TWO WHOLE SEASONS WHINING ABOUT HIS ANNOYING WIFE… THAT BITCH LORI GRIMES! The Walking Dead removed Rick a lot later than it was required… but still removed him. I felt great on that day… after I found out that HE WILL STAR IN NEW THE WALKING DEAD MOVIES!

THIS IS US — “Clouds” Episode 415 — Pictured: Justin Hartley as Kevin — (Photo by: Ron Batzdorff/NBC)

I mean… does AMC really understand what entertainment is? The Walking Dead simply isn’t entertaining anymore… in fact… it’s so terrible that last episode they sent Michonne away from the show but needed to drug her so it would make it more credible. What a cheap excuse… impressive writing indeed…

Other things that particularly annoy me is when actors that are NOT funny, actually try to sound and be funny like… Josh Radnor in How I Met Your Mother. I think I never hated a TV character more than I’ve hated Ted fucking Mosby. He tries so hard to be funny but I just look at him and feel sad for his poor soul… but then I change my mind again and actually find him creepy… and realize he has such a weird-child-molester-type face and I quickly become disgusted by him.

Pardon me for this, but the worst actress on television right now must be Kerry Washington. She is SO OVERDRAMATIC with her acting! I hated Scandal… it was one of the most overrated shows in HISTORY! And while EVERYONE was praising Washington for her performance, which is like a White House whore dressed up like a kick-ass lawyer or fixer or whatever, I was laughing so hard! I mean… those expressions… girl… you brought me to tears! Specially when she gets angry or emotional… I can’t even describe it. It’s over the top annoying.

SCANDAL – “The Other Woman” – When a public figure is caught in a compromising position, Olivia and her team must do some heavy lifting, literally, in order to clean up the mess. But Olivia is still dealing with the ramifications of the judge’s jaw-dropping verdict, and Abby continues to push for answers. In the White House, Cyrus and Fitz are forced to deal with a serious foreign policy emergency, on ABC’s “Scandal,” THURSDAY, OCTOBER 4 (10:02-11:00 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/RICHARD FORMAN)
KERRY WASHINGTON

I recently started watching Devs, the new Hulu series, and two things quickly pop to my mind. First, RON SWANSON IS NOT A VEGETARIAN! I found it extremely offensive seeing Nick Offerman eating leaves! It was shocking as hell! But the most irritating thing about Devs is that the show tries SO FUCKING HARD to be all artsy and calmly paced with all that impressive technology and whatever that becomes SO BORING! I mean… we get it that you have a creative team behind those scenarios and stuff… but man… just move on to the plot!

Other things I don’t understand: having nature documentaries narrated by other people that are not David Attenborough. I know the man is close to a hundred years old… but he is irreplaceable! Nobody can do what he does… That, my friends, is heresy! At least give Snoop Dogg a try, I laughed my ass off watching him on Planet Earth. Just record everything the man says and then pull it together when he passes away (which I hope it will be for many years to come!).

And of course, one of the most traumatic things in my life is that last season of Game of Thrones and those writers should NEVER get another job in their lives. They ruined my favorite series… will NEVER FORGIVE THEM!

Have you watched this amazing anime series called Demon Slayer? I mean, WOW, the series is really impressive, I must say. And nope… I am not being ironic here. I mean, it is just WOW! But then there is a character that has some kind of dementia called Zenitsu and he spends MOST OF THE EPISODES whining about being afraid of everything and being a coward and…. UGH… It pains me so much to say this, but THAT GUY IS INTOLERABLE! I would have my ears covered everytime he showed up because he is constantly yelling for no reason and I can’t stand him…

And why the fuck is Riverdale all so musical right now? I just hate that show so much… it is like a teenage fucking cult of morons.

Oh and that The Outsider finale… what the hell was that??? I mean, really??? Fucking really??? Ugh… I was enjoying the show so much. Props to Cynthia Erivo though!

One of the things I also hate  is when a show that is supposed to be simple in its core tries to look cooler and smart and everything falls apart… like Altered Carbon. I’m like… shit is like Blade Runner… but with a ridiculous, hilariously stupid story behind it. The idea is fine and interesting but… the conclusion? LOL, so idiotic!

Vikings… this is another show I really have to put my hate on… It simply doesn’t end. I mean… WHEN DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WITHOUT RAGNAR THIS IS BULLSHIT?! Oh, and trying to make Katheryn Winnick look older, like an ancient mermaid or what the fuck  that was… just choose an older actress to play the part. You understand that that CLEARLY WAS HIGHLY OFFENSIVE! I’m like 30 years old and I look like I’m older than ancient-Katheryn Winnick in the series and I don’t even have white hair yet… I mean… you don’t have the money for good make-up, just rehire another actor!

Oh… and let’s go to The Witcher. That one is gonna hurt… I fucking hated it!!!! Had to do a drinking game by the time I was at episode 5 to make that shit tolerable. I got drunk after 8 or nine straight beers after that charismatic and vast line of dialogues that Henry Cavill says throughout ONE ENTIRE FUCKING EPISODE. And what the hell is wrong with those timelines? I mean… what the fuck is happening?? Geralt was born with white hair guys and he doesn’t get old so… HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW WHEN IS THIS SHIT TAKING PLACE? And what about that horrible excuse for a dragon??? YOU CALL THAT A DRAGON? Looks like a chicken without feathers, ready to be cooked and served at a KFC restaurant…. just WOW, where’s the money for better visual effects, non-millionaire Netflix?!

Oh… I almost forgot, I think the MOST INFURIATING THING about television right now is probably why FUCKING Netflix launched an excuse of a documentary series called Pandemic: How to Prevent an Outbreak… I mean… duh! So I watched this when it premiered, I don’t remember when, and IRONICALLY the first time I heard about the CORONA FUCKING VIRUS was on THE DAY AFTER! I mean, WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE FROM THE DOCUMENTARY DOING? They are just the most incompetent people ever! I mean… great job guys! You should prevent us from dangerous diseases and…. TCHAN RAN! You are such terrible excuses for human beings… and like… they actually film that shitty series in the border of China and Vietnam… and I was like… OH MY FUCKING GOD! Please let’s remove these incredible untalented people from their jobs ‘cause… you know… you are locked in home right now because they are NOT DOING THEIR JOBS RIGHT!

And…

THE BIG FINALE, THIS IS WHAT I HATE THE MOST IN EVERY SINGLE TELEVISION SHOW EVER!

CAROLE….

FUCKING…

BASKIN…

 

She definitely killed her husband!!

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